if i were a murderer i’d be the febreze murderer and lead my victims blindfolded to undisclosed locations and i’d ask them what they smelled and they’d be like “omg ocean air and tulips” and then i’d rip off the blindfold and it would be A PILE OF THE BODIES OF MY PREVIOUS VICTIMS
my mom made me go to a therapist because of this
I think it’s intoxicating when somebody is so unapologetically who they are.
im having one of those nights where u watch one youtube video and watch a related video and 3 hours later ur watching an hour long conspiracy documentary about how the illuminati killed michael jackson
things ppl say that alert you to them being the actual worst:
- john was my favourite beatle
- abolishing religion would solve a lot of problems
- i’m not a racist i hate all races equally
- disliking someone because of their political affiliation is ridiculous
- but if you think abou it stereotypes do exist for a reason
- god, can you believe people on welfare own iphones
seeing someone you really like flirting with someone else is like the emotional equivalent of being repeatedly punched in the face
I go through this every Wednesday night, soon a bitch is getting sliced.