They may call me a sinner, but I am at peace with myself.
My richness is life, forever.
Tupac fucked Madonna
Just thought you outta know
Everyone thinks it would be so pretty and lovely to live in London
Someone just had their head chopped off in broad daylight.
Come visit London definitely.
cannot get rid of this feeling to get out and just start again
i need a job so I can fulfil my dreams of being a college drop out success story
right now my life just consists of gangster films and wu tang
im not really complaining
bought some chips on my way home and I dropped them and I wanted to cry.
think I’m emotionally maturing as a person
I left college so I could start working
I’ve spent my days miming to the les miserables soundtrack
to those kids out there with shit mothers, on this day I feel your pain. there’s no way in fucking hell I’d celebrate your shit parenting ‘skills’.
i just hope you have a wonderful father like I do
i am sick to fucking death of people deciding that if you don’t go to college/uni that’s your lot in life.
be fucking serious. academia isn’t for everyone and it does not in any way mean that ‘drop outs’ are less fucking intelligent. i know i’ll most probably be doing shit jobs till i figure what i want out of life, and i’m ok with that.
with all that being said i need someone to fucking hire me first. fml.
I’ve been a really shitty friend lately. I’ve been in such a bad place (even though I’ve always been a sarcastic bitch), the situation I’m in has made me project all my bad vibes onto the only 5 friends I have at the moment. And I’m heartbroken because I would never intentionally hurt one of my girls. But I did and things won’t ever be the same, we’ll never be as close as we used to be and that’s a sad fact in itself. I really do need to sort everything out. Going into college tomorrow for the first time since October. FUN.
cutting out all the drugs and drink is not going to be fun. On the up side, hope I get laid tomorrow.
Oh yeah, and to my best friend of 7 years who decides when to come into my life. I do not want nor need you anymore. You’re dead to me.
I’ve been watching Les Mis all day. I’m emotional.
I need to sort my life out.
need to vent before i massacre the whole of LDN
College is bullshit. 7 years ago I would never of thought I would hate education as much as I do now. Don’t get me wrong, I love learning and finding out new things, but only if they follow my interest. After being stuck retaking college for 3 years, I have decided that the education system at this present time is the most fucking repressive, annoying and basically shittiest thing in my life right now. Education is meant to nurture you for the working world but I’ve genuinely learnt no fucking life skills whatsoever. I don’t know how to pay bills, how to manage savings ect. No, but I have learnt that Oedipus is one sick cunt.
COME AT ME LIFE.
I know I’m an idealist and i don’t think realistically at all, and I prefer to live in my own head than deal with important things. And I know I’m scared, a shit self esteem along with no confidence mixed with a massive dose of fear generally equals no progressing for charlotte. I’m tired of not being happy, I’ve let myself be weakened by depression since I was 10, which is really fucking young and i really really REALLY FUCKING REALLY just want to be happy. So for once in my life, instead of flippantly disregarding something with a “fuck it” I’m genuinely going to fuck it and do what I want. I refuse to believe someone cannot be successful just because they didn’t conform to this youth-wasting cycle of school-college-uni-work-death. I don’t want just one set career for then rest of my bloody life. I want to learn new things everyday that aren’t in the fucking national curriculum, I want to travel to new places and carry on meeting new people and making new friends. That’s all I’ve ever wanted, and I’m going to fucking go for it.